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"seek and ye shall find"

Many people are confused because they feel obligated to invest much of their energy into the family that they were either born or adopted into. This is an illusion. In ancient times, family members spent most of their time on survival needs and stuck together to stay alive.

Today, most of our time is spent on our personal development. Our tribe is spread out to prevent a sort of spiritual inbreeding. Therefore, we may find that some or none of our family is truly part of our tribe. The important thing is to avoid investing in a relationship that is motivated by obligation or guilt, regardless of your socialized relationship to the individual. People often remind us of family members with whom we have unresolved conflicts. These family members are usually not even members of our tribe, but we feel obligated to fix these relationships because of society's messages about the importance of the traditional family. This urge to fix instead of let go often guides us towards people who have similar traits to unhealthy family members. This is how we often find ourselves in unhappy relationships.

Work amongst your tribe or alone.
Sometimes you may feel a need to work alone as part of your spiritual path. If not, you would most likely benefit from working with people who are members of your tribe.

We are socialized to take into account salary and status as our major decision making factors when choosing a job. However, the most important thing you can do to enhance both your productivity and enjoyment of your work is to create your own work amongst your tribe. People are slowly beginning to let go of the idea that they must always "work for" someone else.

This is opening up the door to an abundance of creative business ideas. You and your tribe are often meant to create together but it is easy to talk yourself out of your ideas and take a numbing traditional path. If you choose to work for someone else, first meet the people you will be working with and pay attention to your body. Try to find the most compatible group possible under the circumstances.

But keep in mind that working for someone else is usually a stepping stone towards working amongst your tribe.

Live amongst your tribe or alone. Remember to always find comfort in your aloneness.

If not, you would most likely benefit from living near people who are members of your tribe.
This doesn't necessarily mean create a commune environment in which everyone has specifically defined roles. It does mean that when you are making choices about where you want to live it is more important to consider your tribe's location.

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Despite the deep-rooted need to find and live amongst your tribe, it is equally important to enjoy your personal connection with yourself. Your tribe brings out different aspects of your true identity, and helps balance you. But ultimately you are your own best friend.

If you sense that you are not comfortable with yourself, take time to figure out why that is; then take the time to personally heal. If you are not comfortable with who you are you will never know the greatest gift you can give to yourself: inner-peace through self-acceptance.

variables that are listed in magazines claiming to know the "Top 100 Places to Live."

When you live amongst your tribe you develop a sense of belonging that is deeply satisfying. Additionally you enhance the likelihood that you will accomplish the most important thing a tribe can do: gather together and share ideas and feelings towards the goal of helping each other self-actualize.

Let go of relationships with people who are not in your tribe.

To discover who is not in your tribe, pay attention to your feelings. Who do you smile around when you see them? Who makes you feel tense and uncomfortable? Your subtle fight or flight mechanism is always at work. It doesn't matter what you have said in the past. When you realize you are putting yourself around people who make you feel uncomfortable, let the relationship go. Either tell the person directly that you don't want to spend time with them anymore, or let it naturally drift away.

A connection with someone outside of your tribe will naturally fade away when you stop putting energy into it. Don't get caught up in the grief of letting go of these connections. In the long run it is the best thing you can do for your personal happiness.

Don't be in romantic relationships with people who aren't in your tribe or threaten your tribe.

All too often we let ourselves fall into a relationship based upon superficial values such as physical appearance or status. Another way we fall blindly into romantic relationships with non-tribe members is to find someone who semi-consciously reminds us of an unhealthy family member. There is no connection that is worth the discomfort of a forced connection. Additionally, don't fall into the trap of being with someone who tries to separate you from your tribe.

They may find all kinds of "rational" reasons as to why you should not spend time with your tribe. They may say it is time to be mature and only spend time with your significant other. Don't listen to them and end the relationship. The easiest way to lose your vigor for life is to let go of your connections to your tribe in exchange for living some kind of false 1950s American Dream.

Tribe members often come in and out of your life in a cyclical manner.

Often a tribe member will have to move away for some personal growth need. You may be able to see what the lesson is before they can. However, love is letting go, so let them go forth and learn experientially. Life is much longer than we give it credit for. We have more time than we think. People are more mobile now than ever.

It is becoming increasingly common to see people who once seemed permanently gone return into your life. When they comeback they have usually gained lessons which help the tribe as a whole.

Don't force someone else's personal growth.

You may recognize someone as having great potential and be tempted to expedite their personal and spiritual growth. Don't. You will then put yourself in the role of superior. Let people grow at their own pace without taking them on as a personal project. The size and evolution of your tribe is not important. It is easy to get caught up in the quantitative nature of your reality.

However, this is just a result of our culture's emphasis upon quantity over quality. Don't let this interfere with your own personal set of priorities. There is more to life than the numbers.
Avoid spending time with people who are not in your tribe.
Avoid spending time with people who are not in your tribe.

It is tempting to want to be around all people as you see the good in everyone. However, you may quickly find yourself drained of personal energy when spending time with non-tribe members. This doesn't mean that you should waste energy on judging or disliking other people. It does mean that you should not be a martyr and place yourself around people who do not enhance your personal growth.

Many people may have some aspects with which you personally connect. If they have more unhealthy, incongruent traits than healthy, congruent traits then it is important to avoid putting energy into such a connection.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.       

      "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live"          ~Goethe~                                             

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was a German poet, novelist and dramatist.
Click here for further information on Goethe (pronounced Gur-tah)

Raven@theblissfulraven.com